From Doubt to Gratitude: Recognizing Your Contributions
In case you haven’t heard today, you are doing great. The world is getting better each day because you are still here, asking questions, connecting dots, and creating and redefining narratives. Isn’t it wild how much you’ve done just by imagining a world with freedom, liberation, and self-expression?
I wanted to start there because I am in a good mood. I actually thought I would feel stressed because my first day of full-time freelancing starts on January 1, 2024. Fortunately, I get to start this new chapter with contracts signed and projects that excite me. That being said, I’m not quite booked and busy. I’m not in a rush to overwhelm my schedule, however, I am eager to dive into areas that I haven’t had time or energy to advance in the past few years.
To prepare for prospective opportunities, I had to make the long-awaited and dreaded revisions of my community engagement offerings. My professional bio also needed some dusting. It took me months because hello, avoidance of the unknown future 👋🏾 Now, after a dozen attempts, I can confidently say that there’s nothing like writing about yourself to remember who TF you are.
Does your brain lie to you sometimes? Mine does. To make it worse, my anxiety focuses on the times that I dropped the ball, rarely the times that I came through or exceeded expectations. This mentality has contributed to my experiences with burnout. And thanks to my friend Tanuja Devi Jagernauth, I also understand now that it is a byproduct of a work culture of white supremacy (I highly suggest clicking to learn directly from Tema Okun, who wrote the original article on White Supremacy Culture).
I am a recovering perfectionist who obsessively remembers each time that I was told that I didn’t apply myself. Sometimes it was a statement of tough love. Other times it was a deliberate attempt to extract more labor. Overly critical or well-intentioned, “You haven’t applied yourself” is a sentence that should never be said unless there’s a follow up along the lines of “How can I help you get where you’re meant to be?”
Everyone can benefit from honest feedback about what is or isn’t the best representation of our ideas, vision, and creativity. But we don’t get to assume what is or isn’t a person’s best effort. People don't always know what it took for you to get here.
That being said, what was the best compliment you received about your contributions to a group project, organizing campaign, or other collaborative effort? How did you feel? I often hesitate to accept credit or call attention to any of my contributions, no matter how large or small. Any effort to support expanding our collective imagination is worth noting. It’s also important for documenting the widespread participation of our movements and shifts in political consciousness—because history (and current events) has told us time and time again that our archives, struggles, and lives will be denied, erased, or annihilated.
It doesn’t matter how many years have passed. Somebody still remembers you. It doesn’t matter if you need to brush up on new discourse or theories, you’ve always understood and embodied the framework. You took the time and space that you needed. You probably didn’t want it and resisted it. It might’ve been an uncomfortable, bumpy journey, but babycakes, you endured it. Even if you don’t feel like you’ve “made it" or "done enough," the fact that you haven’t given up on pursuing your dreams or supporting community is a testament in itself.
I’m feeling grateful and appreciative of my contributions and yours. We did that. And you’re still doing great.
Now, go update your CV and portfolio!